Ah, The Woes of Reading Romeo (humor/sarcastic piece)
Morgana Faye
To quote the wisest philosopher of our time:
“It's always been about love and hate, now let me say I'm the biggest hater
I hate the way that you walk, the way that you talk, I hate the way that you dress
I hate the way that you sneak diss, if I catch flight, it's gon' be direct
We hate the b*tch*s you fxxk 'cause they confuse themself with real women
And notice, I said "we," it's not just me, I'm what the culture feelin'
How many more fairytale stories 'bout your life 'til we had enough?
Thank you Kendrick Lamar for writing the sickest bars of 2024. But more importantly, your words perfectly express how I feel about reading about a certain playwright and this one story that some higher-ups above insist every student must read. Whose play continues to plague the creative field with countless references and remakes that further justify my disdain for it. You know, the movies, songs and dime-a-dozen trashy novels you find in a typical drug store or supermarket. At its best, it is mediocre recycled trash. At its worst, it’s a complete waste of resources that could have gone into an original idea. I don’t know if this applies to all cultures but it is safe to say many want to treat the dead with respect, to let their souls rest in peace. I agree with that. I think it’s about time (it's 2024 already!) to let this story, Romeo and Juliet, rest in its grave, too.
I’m talking about William Shakespeare and his accursed Romeo and Juliet.
It’s always been about love and hate with Romeo and Juliet. It’s the literal theme of the godforsaken piece of ancient trashy tragic romance story that it is. Yes, that’s right. Here’s my “unpopular” opinion - it’s boring and overhyped. Maybe if I wasn’t forced to read this over and over and hear the same “raving” reviews praising it for its “insightful commentary and themes”, I might have viewed it differently-. Nah, that’s not true. My opinion of it then is still the same now. I’m tired of people thinking it’s “smarter” than it is. That it’s some highly intellectual material worthy of forcing people to analyze over and over when I don’t think it’s that deep. Like, sure, the blood feud between the Capulets and Montague is interesting enough, I suppose. I understand that it’s not supposed to be Romeo and Juliet's focal point. It’s supposed to highlight the tragedies of star-crossed love, violence, fate, whatever comes to mind.
But really, having some additional context behind the feud would have made the drama juicier. Because Romeo and Juliet as a whole is drier than the Sahara Desert. If anything, I feel we give Romeo and Juliet too much credit for essentially jumpstarting an entire subgenre of for-fun fanfiction and fanfiction-turned-monetized-trashy-novels. I know it’s not entirely Shakespeare’s fault school curriculum refuses to open up to varied literature from all over the world. It’s not entirely his fault people love to rehash old content and milk it (looking at you Disney and Hollywood!). At the same time, I certainly didn’t enjoy having to pull the same old “analysis” out of my ass while trying to explain why these two idiots’ “love story” (if you can even call it that) died as fast as they fell in love. Some things just need to die already, and Romeo and Juliet in 2024, is one of those things. Yeah, I'm the biggest hater of this story.
I hate the way this story’s plot walks. I understand that the rushed nature does serve a purpose, somewhat, for Romeo and Juliet. The lack of time meant a lot of pressure the characters weren’t able to handle, which contributed to their tragic ends. It’s what makes Romeo and Juliet a tragedy. However, that’s just not my cup of tea. I prefer material that has a lot more going on while also pacing properly. Am I being nitpicky and super critical of this play for what it is? Maybe. At the same time, I’d like to take this time to properly tear it apart because I’m a tiny bit petty like that (because schools are boring and only want people to think one way).
The way its format talks. Not a play girlie - though, to be fair, I’m not a fan of script formats to begin with. But also, I’m not a fan of Shakespeare. To his credit, though, I think schools have partially ruined what otherwise could have been my experience reading his works. I’m aware I’m not getting the full experience of his skill by just reading the plays. I have to see his stories reenacted live to watch the story unfold. Even so, I’m a Dostoevsky girlie to the end. I like his brand of madness in his writings. It’s dark and gritty in a satisfying way - like I was treated to a fulfilling meal that I still remember long after.
Something I cannot say for Romeo and Juliet because I wouldn't say I like the way its themes are addressed. Like girl, be for real. I’d be more convinced of the romance if :
Romeo was not slobbering over another girl before he decided on a whim she wasn’t worth it anymore
He wanted marriage right off the bat because that’s perfectly sane and reasonable
Surely Romeo couldn’t have tried harder to convince his dear friend not to start life-ending fights.
He committed suicide over a girl he could have just moved on because he had no problem forgetting Rosaline, who is Juliet’s relative. So no, I don’t care for the main attraction.
It cannot be stated enough how much I hate the way that the higher-ups managing the curriculum for schools sneak this into lessons. Like please just let this die in peace already. Because if I catch the flight of Shakespeare, it's gon' be on-sight from how much Romeo and Juliet continue to haunt me to this day. Again, I must emphasize. I hate the b*tch*s this godforsaken play birthed because these fakes confuse themself with real, respectable stories. I’m not at all convinced The New York Times Bestsellers aren’t just a bunch of publishers payrolling their way into these arbitrary lists. The countless references and/or remakes Hollywood chooses to prioritize instead of original content don’t help either.
And notice, I said "we," it's not just me, I'm what the culture feelin'
Because how many more remakes, even in 2024, 'bout Romeo and Juliet 'til we had enough?
ABOUT THE BLOGGER
Morgana Faye is a short story writer and poet. From thoughts to words, she weaves into a cohesive body of work. Writing allows Morgana time to slow down, collect her thoughts, and present them on paper. To catch those words before they slip from her grasp, forever lost during translation. Though recent, her blossoming interest in the publishing industry marks a pivotal change. Fall 2019 saw her poem “Closer” published in King’s River Review. However, it was not until 2024 that she would consider publishing a viable career path. Even so, Morgana seeks to showcase her skills to the world.
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